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How to Improve Your Confidence And Give a Boost to Your Self-Este…

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At a certain point we all stop, we quit making the moves that got us ahead, we find comfort and seek not to challenge the status quo.

This is all very well and good until something strange happens, your inner drive kicks in, you recognise that you’ve stopped growing and the fear of responsibility has taken over.

It can be an unnerving experience to realize you’ve mentally given in to fear, doubt and worry that keeps you from pursuing your greatest capacity and expression of self.

In this article I’ll outline some of the most powerful action steps you can take immediately to give your life a giant boost in the right direction to choosing the hard road, overcoming challenges and expanding your capabilities; so you can start to accept responsibility.

Implementing any of these heavy duty strategies will help you get over the fear of responsibility and achieve more in life.

Make It Your Motto

When I was talking to legendary YouTuber, Evan Carmichael (3.2m subscribers and counting), he shared with me something that stayed with me indefinitely, his motto.

Evan grew up a shy, innovative kid from Toronto, Canada, in his mid-twenties he faced a huge life choice, either go down the normal path, take a 6 figure job and play it safe or branch out and become an entrepreneur.

Evan chose the latter and you will see from his speeches and Instagram posts that he is famous for saying

“F.E.A.R has two meanings, Face Everything And Rise or Forget Everything And Run”.

He is now recognised by Forbes as one of the top 40 social marketers. Evan’s motto that he shared is “I do difficult things”.

By deciding to implement this creed as his mantra for life, it helps Evan take action and step out into the unknown despite the fear. He is able to overcome the fear behind responsibility due to his perception of himself.

Doing difficult things is quite literally who he is, it’s part of his identity and by cleverly setting this as his blueprint he courageously takes on things that scare him and as a result he achieves more.

The big question is:

What motto or mantra could you set for yourself so that you go out there and grab life by the horns every single day?

The incredible thing is by repeatedly doing the thing that scares you the most, it stimulates a rush of endorphins that set you up for success for the next challenge.

As it is part of your identity to do difficult things, it becomes a habit, and because you celebrate the small wins each day, you reinforce the behaviour and which causes your brain to systematically seek out more opportunities to push the boat out.

As a result you’ll move away from your fear of responsibility and towards feeling more capable to take on responsibilities you previously would have shied away from, in fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re putting your hand up for extra commitments all over the place.

Remember this, the biggest reward is usually behind the door we fear most, this can be the gift of winning new clients, new relationships or simply discovering new talents we never knew we had.

Take Personal Responsibility

Speaking of responsibility, it all starts with you!

No one can make you feel anything, even though it feels real, it is your choice to accept these emotions as your truth.

The way to move through this is to take personal responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

This means that the level of preparation you do for the interview, the traffic jam that causes you to be late and the unexpected low laptop battery are all your responsibility.

This is an attitude change to complete ownership, when you approach the situation with this mindset, it transforms the energy within, and the flames of passion, purpose and direction begin to fan again.

For example, if you blame your boss for making your life miserable, working overtime, and you harbour feelings of resentment and anger, you totally miss out the opportunity to develop a rock solid confidence that comes from an inner knowing that it’s all you.

Experiences like this become empowering not debilitating.

By choosing instead to focus on what you can control, your attitude and how you show up despite the problems you put the wheels of success in motion.

When you take this path, and you show up early for work instead of resenting the fact that you have to work, you switch your energy to the opportunity ahead of you, it is a game changer.

Instead of ‘having to work’ you now see it as a privilege to work, you get to do your best every day and as a result you end up over-delivering, the outcome being your boss eases up and you give you the autonomy you crave.

Speaking of focus, the next point is really worth noting down.

Change the Perspective

When your mission is to give, you wake up your senses to live life large!

It doesn’t matter how small, it’s the perspective of looking to do more for others, to serve, that is the change agent.

For example, you get offered the opportunity to give a big speech but you’re afraid you’ll mess it up and therefore you decline. When you have it as your mission to give, you operate from this principle and say to yourself, “I will give this speech because I am helping those in need, if I change one life it is worth it”.

When you set this as your barometer for success, the fear drops away and the mission reappears. It is no longer about you and your doubts, it is bigger than that, it’s about the cause, giving and serving on a deeper level.

When giving is at the center of what you do it creates meaning and purpose to the struggle, it doesn’t eradicate the fear but it gives you the strength to continue on.

It gets you out of your head, it stops the analysing and the worrying and enables you to live a life of heartfelt purpose.

This is where you truly feel alive again.

What can you give today? How can you serve others by doing something you’re afraid to do? What responsibility are you avoiding that, if you really think about it, is an opportunity to give in disguise?

Eat the Frog

When you feel stuck and you’re brooding over what has yet to come, you are not in the present moment, in fact you are stealing joy by worrying about what is yet to come.

When you commit to eating the frog, it means you tackle the hard things first, you get them out of the way early.

You wake up and hit the gym, you get that start building that presentation right away, you send that difficult email, you have that awkward conversation – bottom line, you get into motion and you start doing.

When you witness yourself taking action on things that scare you, putting your hand up for duties and roles that are outside of your comfort zone, you show yourself that you respect and value everything about you.

The next piece is magic, this is what translates all that effort into accelerated progress and deep self confidence, that is self trust.

Self trust is a huge deal, it is vitally important to keep the commitments you make to yourself at all costs – entrepreneur and motivational speaker Ed Mylett covers this in detail in his podcast on this exact topic.

By doing what you say you will do and keeping the promises you make to yourself, for example, “today I will make contact with 20 new clients for my business” it builds self trust and as a result your faith in yourself to deliver multiples.

By eating the frog you get to practice this daily, and you get the hard stuff out of the way first each day, it’s a win for yourself and you will achieve remarkably more.

Choose To Run With Lions

You might be thinking, that’s a bit odd, why would I opt to instigate a race with the king of the jungle but what I am getting at is, surround yourself with those that empower you, build you up and see your potential.

If you constantly feel pulled down, restricted by others and absorb the negative energy of people who themselves are hampered by a mindset of limitation, lack and problems it is absolutely draining.

Be mindful who you spend time with especially if you are recognising that you’re starting to fear responsibility. This is a big sign that you need to guard your inner circle closely because they might be doing more harm than good.

In fact, this might be your issue in a nutshell, be careful to classify your fear of responsibility as a problem created only by you, it could simply be the case that it is time to find a different crew to run with.

Life is messy, we all get busy, previous ideas or goals can lead us to create habits that are unhealthy, such as not changing direction when needed.

You’ll find that when you upgrade your environment, primarily those you let influence you everyday, you will feel a flood of new energy rush in. When this happens, capitalise on it, and get stuck in.

Similarly, if you find yourself energised, more confident and in peace when you are around certain people, this is telling you something – be not afraid to follow your intuition and make some changes.

All said and done, feeling a fear of responsibility and getting over it so you can achieve more in life has to do with making a conscious effort to be aware of it when it happens and taking action swiftly to address it.

More Tips on Achieving More in Life

Featured photo credit: Surface via unsplash.com



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